Officially diagnosed

     My youngest finally got in for his tests back at the end of September to see if/where he is on the spectrum. He was diagnosed with a moderate level of autism, but with a prognosis that improvement is likely with therapy.

     I expected to be emotional after the appointment. I just didn't know if it would be hopeful or sorrow. It wasn't a surprise that he is, in fact, on the spectrum. My biggest fear was that he'd always be nonverbal and I'd never get to hear him say "Mommy I love you!" This appointment gave our family both a plan and hope.

     Right now the plan is to get an EEG, a hearing test, a vision test, and to start dental visits. The dentist isn't part of his therapy it's just time. They recommended a genetic test as well. We are going to see about getting him into speech therapy and possibly an eating group to improve the range of foods he will eat. 

     He's been thriving at school. Sleeping better. Not necessarily eating better, but eating more. He does seem willing to try more new foods. Recently he ate ground beef, an apple with the peel on, and a pear. He actually points at something when he wants it, where he used to excitedly wave his arms in the items direction. He also seems to be making more purposeful sounds as opposed to just noise. Like he is trying to say actual words instead of just monotone sounds. He has even started giving hugs and kisses!

     For now we just get him all the help he needs and hopefully before long I'll finally get to hear his voice. Hopefully he'll finally be able to get out of his own head and tell us what he's feeling, what's he's thinking, what makes him happy, what makes him sad. 

     Hope. It's what we needed, and it's what we have. Even if it's all we have for now. We will get through this together.